![]() I like the sound of the term "holding space", but what does it mean? Pet lovers may understand this analogy better than those who are not quite so infatuated with the furry, feathery, slithery creatures... Have you ever sat down with a pet and vented about your day? The animal sits still. It allows you to pet it. It seems to have excellent listening skills and it doesn't respond back with criticisms or solutions. It allows you to let go and be what you need to be in that moment. It holds space for you. When you hold space for someone else (a friend, a loved one, a stranger) you allow another human energy to have his/her own experience as they need to have it. You sit from a place of compassion and availability. There cannot be judgment when we hold space; there can only be "be"-ing. Your heart opens in whatever capacity is needed. It might mean listening and simply nodding. It might mean watching...sitting...pausing. "Often the hardest thing about holding space is that it can feel like you are doing nothing." Holding space is a generous non-ego moment of gifting your energy to someone else. Holding Space Quietly sitting beside me you steadily breathe inhale after exhale no sharp intakes of judgment or wistful releases of pity, You sit. Your heart openly reaches for mine listening to whatever spills out of my mouth, your stillness grants me my own experience. I am free yet lovingly confined by your presence permitted to be mad, sad, upset, disappointed, happy, ecstatic, angry, depressed, volatile, light, dark, sparkly you offer me this by simply holding my space.
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![]() "Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you." ~Maori Proverb Savitri Palkhivala is a meditation master who teaches methods that she, herself, found helpful in dealing with major life events. " When she was 11 she had a serious head injury, and as a teenager she suddenly lost both her parents in one of the worst aviation disasters in history. A few years later she experienced the shocking murder of her sister and the death of her best friend. This led to life threatening illnesses and many near-death experiences." (http://www.aadil.com/savitri/). I was fortunate to sit in her meditation workshop while at a yoga conference in Seattle. One of the many techniques she taught that day was a meditation technique to open the heart chakra, what Savitri refers to as the "doorway to soul". You simply draw a line across your chest from the top of both armpits to find your heart center. Close your eyes and massage this point with your middle finger. Perhaps you mentally add on Savitri's affirmation, "I choose to go deep inside to discover my true Divine Self as Light and Love." Then, bring your fingers to a point at this same spot as though your fingers were a closed flower; fingers all coming together at your heart center. As you inhale, allow your fingers to stay in contact with your body as you open the fingers and let them spread out across your chest. On the exhale, fingers pull back together as your hand moves a few inches away from your body. See your inner light spreading throughout your body. Affirmation: "I gratefully accept the light and pay it forward." I am not really the type of person who gets offended easily. I may not like something someone says or does as it pertains to me, but I do not usually take offense. I don't even like the word because it seems everyone takes offense to something these days. Dictionary.com defines offended as " to cause resentful displeasure; irritate, annoy, or anger". And, wow, was I all of those things last night!
Thank goodness it was late and I was too tired to retort back in any type of fashion. This morning, as I sit here applying my yoga tools to the situation, I have had to evaluate if action on my part equates to change in what I perceive as someone else's ignorance. And the answer is definitively no. Many of my yoga themes talk about choice. We can choose to have a good day, we can choose to hang on to or release anger... Most importantly, is that we can choose our reactions. I chose to be mad last night. And what happened as a result is a comment played over and over in my head like a VCR stuck on a movie clip. And each time it replayed, I got more and more upset. I thought of responses and reactions but none of them made me feel any better. I finally went to sleep. This morning, I choose to not be offended. I choose to reclaim my energy. I choose to continue on my path and let those who have judgmental and offensive comments to make continue on their path. There are a lot of quotes and opinions on the Internet about being offended. They range from get over it to give it right back. It is our responsibility to draw upon the tools we have and take responsibility for our reactions and ensuing actions. “You may not be able to do anything about how you feel; but you can do something about how you act. People will definitely offend you willing or unwilling by their words and actions...but you can choose to let that offence sink you down or not....” ― Israelmore Ayivor ![]() When you are not feeling well, you have more time to lay around and watch TV and you suddenly become attached to shows you didn't even know existed before! While in my hotel room in Seattle, I started watching a PBS type program by Dr. Daniel Amen about his book "Change Your Brain, Change Your Life." I found it so mesmerizing, I ordered the book on my phone that moment. Dr. Amen studies brain scans. Not scans like MRI's that show physical elements of the brain but scans that show activity level and surface pictures. He was able to determine that diagnoses' like depression, anger, anxiety, head trauma all show significant holes, if you will, in the appearance of the brain. He uses these scans to help people stop guessing what medicines they should be on and, instead, improve their brain health. He has proven it is possible to increase the health and function of the brain. He helps people do this via supplements, diet, brain challenges, meditation, positive thinking and sometimes, medication. I stumbled across his TV show after it had started and he kept referring to ants! Kill the ants, he would say. When the book arrived, I finally understood that ants was an acronym for automatic negative thinking. In my yoga classes, we practice positive affirmations. We practice them because they do not seem to come naturally to our ego driven negative mind. Remember, saying I do not want to be angry any more is not positively worded! Say instead, I am more patient. Dr. Amen says, "notice what you like about people more than what you don't". Let's refer to this as a positive action versus affirmation. It is sad, but true, that we will probably have to work harder to find more likes than dislikes but it is essential. Dr. Amen also stated, "It is not true that it takes two to make things better." Think about that for a moment. If I am focused on what I don't like about someone, isn't it true that I am probably sending out a different energy/attitude than if I focused on what I like? And if I am focused on the like's, the other person senses that and is happier/nicer, perhaps? Can't I, in essence, alter someone's mood and behavior by redirecting mine? "The human brain has 100 billion neurons, each neuron connected to 10 thousand other neurons. Sitting on your shoulders is the most complicated object in the known universe." Michio Kaku "Virtually everywhere we go, someone is tempting us with bad food that will kill us early, putting toxic thoughts in our minds by pushing us to watch horrific news events over and over, or working to addict us to the latest gadgets that interfere with our relationships. To achieve optimal mental performance, we have to have the mind-set of a brain warrior." Dr. Amen ![]() These are the readings from Monday night's "bedtime" yoga class! Sleeping in the Forest I thought the earth remembered me, she took me back so tenderly, arranging her dark skirts, her pockets full of lichens and seeds. I slept as never before, a stone on the river bed, nothing between me and the white fire of the stars but my thoughts, and they floated light as moths among the branches of the perfect trees. All night I heard the small kingdoms breathing around me, the insects, and the birds who do their work in the darkness. All night I rose and fell, as if in water, grappling with a luminous doom. By morning I had vanished at least a dozen times into something better. ~Mary Oliver ~ The invitation It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive. It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon… I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes.” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments. By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming |
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