You may know someone like I am about to describe or it may even be you right now, or you in a different time of your life, but at some point we have all encountered the Victim. This is a person stuck in victim mode. They complain an awful lot and like to delegate blame. It wasn't my fault...Why does my life suck?...Why would God do this to me? ....It's all their fault. When you are around this type of person, you probably feel energetically drained. For good reason! They are draining to listen to! I want you to consider the fact that if the Victim is draining to the people around them, you are draining to yourself when you fall into this place.
Sonia Choquette says, "There is a high commitment to being a victim." What she means by that is that it requires a lot of your energy to whine and complain and blame. I think we sometimes feel if we complain out loud, the Universe will step in and make things the way we want them but it doesn't happen that way. Why? Because the Universe likes to agree with you. So if you whine that your life sucks, the Universe nods and says yes your life sucks. Sonia stresses, "The Universe cannot support victim mode."
Imagine you are holding a stone in your fist. Allow the stone to represent all the complaints you can think of right now. Go ahead. List everything you do not like about yourself, your body. List the people you don't like and why. List your fears and complaints. Victim mode is a curtain to hide behind so you do not have to change. It may seem like change means effort and energy but what you do not realize is that you are putting out more effort and energy to staying a Victim. Isn't it easier to accomplish something you love rather than something you hate? The energy is different. If I sit down to write poetry and blog my thoughts, it requires less of my energy than writing a paper about Walden's Pond; I hated that book! My moaning and groaning about the paper might take up as much time as the actual writing of it. So, don't put energy into that which you do love or what does not support what you love.
Go back to envisioning the stone you have been holding. The effort you have used to keep your hand shut. You can hang onto that stone as long as you want to because you have free will. During class, we tried to hang onto a pretend stone to see how much of an added effort that would be. Imagine holding a stone through down dog and into table! So much energy was used to hang onto the stone and in figuring out how to adjust to hanging onto the stone with all the burdens it represented!! If you want to let go, commit to letting go. You can't partially hang onto the stone; it's all or nothing. That's because there is a commitment to suffering; you are choosing to stay there. Either release the drama and move on or hang onto your fears as tightly as you want to. The Universe is simply waiting for you to become available to you rather than your excuses and blame.
Make it an intention to get out of Victim Mode, not a wish. I wish I could get out of victim mode sounds so lame, doesn't it? Commit to all or nothing because whichever level you commit to is what you will get. Sonia, "Acknowledge I can do it because it is your intentions that have power behind them...this is different than a wish."
One of my favorite things Sonia said was "I will not argue for your limitations. I will not work harder for you than you." Seriously, right?! How often do we do that?!
It's up to you. Free will, free choice. If you want to stay a victim to your job and your finances and your family and God and everything else that goes wrong, go ahead. If you commit to making a change, email me...get me on board! I will be your biggest cheerleader as long as you stay away from defending your limitations. As Sonia summed it up, "Get off the exit ramp, or jump on the super highway."
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