The Words We Choose

What was one of the first things you said to someone this morning? What was one of the final things you said last night?  What feelings do you suppose your words left behind?  Good, happy, loved, sad, angry, depleted...?

My son has a teacher this year that tells the class how much he doesn't like them, how they won't succeed, how they are his worst class ever....I have to wonder what he was told.

There's a story in the book Life is a Verb about the author's daughter.  She was in first grade and she came home excitedly to tell her parents she had taken her first test.  Without thinking, their first question was How did you do?  (Aren't we all in that habit?)  And her daughter cheerfully responded I got 30%!  The mom stopped herself from saying how terrible she must have felt and instead rephrased by saying How did that make you feel?  Her daughter, still excited, said I got 30% right!!

Think about the words. If the mom had asked her original question, her daughter would have suddenly questioned her results. As she thought about it, she would be thinking Terrible? Should I feel terrible? I was bad? Her little head would probably have dropped as her smile faded, her shoulders drooping from their once excitedly high state.

The author tells of another instance  in 4th grade where her daughter took one of those awful word problem math tests; the kind where if so-and-so is driving at 40 mph for 20 minutes....you know the ones.  Her daughter got 1 out of 6 correct.  The teacher wrote You got 1 right! Great effort!!!

Why shouldn't we encourage others for what they do right?  Why shouldn't we encourage ourselves for what we do well?

"There is no failure, only feedback," Robert Allen.  What words are you feeding back to yourself?  Make them happy.  Allow your words to your precious self to be of praise and awe.  Celebrate your accomplishments.  Light birthday candles every day and make your wishes be heard.

People like my son's teacher do offer a life lesson.  As one would not know light without knowing dark, would not recognize love without experiencing hate, how would my son appreciate the good teachers without having some bad?  My son will always remember the no so nice things this teacher has said to the class but I, have hopefully, countered those statements with enough of the opposite that it really won't matter.  But what about the other kids?  Try to raise people up with your words. Raise yourself up with your words. Take control of your future by creating it with positive words and affirmations. 

Here's a list from positivelypresent.typepad.com to get you started. Maybe choose one each day and choose to own it!

ADAPTABLE

ADORED

ADVENTUROUS

A L LURING

ALTRU I S T I C

AMBITIOUS

AT H L E T I C

AUTHENT I C

AWESOME

BEAUTIFUL

B I G -HEARTED

BLESSED

BRAVE

BRIGHT

B R I L L I A N T

CAPABLE

CA P T I VATING

CHARMING

CHIC

CLEVER

COMMENDABLE

COMPETENT

CONF I D E N T

COURAGEOUS

COURTEOUS

CREAT I V E

CULTURED

DAPPER

DARING

DARLING

DASHING

DA Z Z L I NG

D E C I S I V E

DELIGHTFUL

DEPENDABLE

DESERVING

DESIRABLE

D I S T I NGUISHED

DREAMY

DYNAMIC

E F F E RVESCENT

E L ATED

E L E C T R I C

ELOQUENT

EMPOWERED

ENCHANTING

ENERGIZED

ENTERPRISING

EVOLV I NG

EXQUISITE

E Y E -CATCHING

FABULOUS

FASCI NAT I NG

FEARLESS

F E TCHING

F L AWLESS

FOXY

GENUINE

GLEEFUL

GLORIOUS

GLOWING

GORGEOUS

GRACIOUS

HANDSOME

HAPPY

HEALTHY

HOPEFUL

HOT

HUGGABLE

I L LUMINATED

IMPRESSIVE

I NSIGHTFUL

I NSPIRED

I NS P I R I NG

I NTERESTING

I NTRIGUING

I N T U I T I V E

I R R E S I S T I B L E

JOV I A L

JUBILANT

KISSABLE

KNOWLEDGEABLE

L E V E L -HEADED

L I B E RATED

L I G H T -HEARTED

L I K E A B L E

L I T H E

LOVED

LOV E LY

LOV I NG

LUCKY

LUMINOUS

MAGICAL

MARVELOUS

MASTERFUL

MERRY

MINDFUL

MOT I VATED

OPTIMISTIC

OVERJOYED

PASSIONAT E

PEACEFUL

PHENOMENAL

PLAYFUL

POISED

POWERFUL

PRESENT

PRODUCT I V E

RADIANT

REGAL

RELAXED

RESOURCEFUL

RESPLENDENT

RESTED

R E V I TA L I Z E D

SAT I S F I E D

S E L F -ASSURED

SERENE

S I L LY

S K I L L F U L

SOPHISTICATED

SPARKLING

S P I R I T E D

SPLEND I F E ROUS

SPRIGHTLY

STELLAR

STRIKING

STRONG

STUDIOUS

STYLISH

SUCCESSFUL

SVELT E

SWEET

TALENTED

THOUGHTFUL

TRANQUIL

TREMENDOUS

TRIUMPHANT

UNCOMMON

UNIQUE

UNSHAKEABLE

UNSTOPPABLE

UPBEAT

U P L I F T E D

VALUABLE

VIBRANT

VISIONARY

V I VACIOUS

W E L L -ROUNDED

WHIMSICAL

WINSOME

WISE

WITTY

WONDERFUL

WORTHY

ZESTFUL

 

 

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